How to Survive a Long Distance Relationship

How to Survive a Long Distance Relationship. Are you currently in a long distance relationship? If you are or have been in this kind of relationship, then you probably know how challenging it can be to stay connected even though you live thousands of miles apart. In fact, according to a recent survey conducted by Match.com, nearly half (48 percent) of people say they would consider moving across country to be with their significant other.

How to Survive a Long Distance Relationship

Long distance relationships can be tough because communication becomes harder over time. There are several ways of to How to Survive a Long Distance Relationship, and overcome the many challenges. For example, you can try using video chat apps such as Skype or FaceTime to stay connected. Or you can create a special place where you both can meet at least once every week.

You should also take advantage of the opportunities that come along with being in a long distance relationship. For instance, you can plan trips together and spend quality time together.

There are several challenges facing couples in a long-distance relationship. Here is what you need to know:

How to Survive a Long Distance Relationship- Here are some Tips

When long-distance couples think about how to survive a long distance relationships, they usually imagine someone living far away from their significant other. However, there are plenty of couples that live apart for months or even years at a time. Some people might think it’s impossible to maintain a healthy relationship while separated, but it really isn’t. In fact, long distance relationships can actually be very successful.

How to Survive a Long Distance Relationship – Daily Life

How does your daily life change in a long-distance relationship? You will have to adjust some things. For example, if you want to see each other more often, you may have to travel to visit your partner instead of them coming to see you. This means that you will have to make sacrifices.

If you’re looking for tips on how to survive a long distance relationship, here are some helpful suggestions.

Start Planning Early

Long distance relationships require a lot of patience and commitment. How to Survive a Long Distance Relationship depends on how you must plan ahead and make sure that both partners know what they want out of life and love. This way, you won’t end up arguing over petty stuff like where to meet up for dinner or whether or not you’ll see each other next week.

Be Patient and Don’t Give Up Hope

How to survive a long distance relationship take a lot of patience and understanding. Sooner or later, you will probably run into problems. But remember that everyone makes mistakes. Even though you’ve been together for several years now, you still aren’t perfect. Sometimes, you just need to accept that you’re human and learn to forgive yourself.

Love Is Always Worth Fighting For

There are times when one partner will do something that hurts the other person deeply. When this happens, it’s important to talk about it openly and honestly. Try to resolve the issue quickly because otherwise, it could turn into a huge fight. Remember that fights happen sometimes, but you shouldn’t allow them to ruin your relationship.

How to Survive a Long Distance Relationship

Here are some long distance relationship tips that you could take advantage of in your own intimate relationship.

Communicate as much (or as little) as you need to feel connected. We live in an age where we are constantly communicating via social media platforms like Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, Instagram, etc. This constant communication allows us to keep up with our friends and family members, and even maintain long distance dating relationships with former friends. However, there is no one-size-fits-all approach to staying connected in an interdependent relationship. Some people prefer texting, while others enjoy calling or chatting over video calls. And some people don’t want to talk to anyone unless they’re having a serious conversation.

Communication habits change based on life situations. For example, if someone just got out of jail, they might not want to speak to everyone they know. Or maybe they’ve recently moved into a new city and aren’t sure what to do with themselves during the day. In either case, it’s important to figure out what works best for you and your needs.

If you are just starting out in a romantic relationship, then you should start by talking to your partner regularly. If you find that you can’t get along well enough to communicate without fighting all the time, then you should consider breaking up.

Make sure you have fun!

You can never go wrong by making sure that you have fun. Whether you’re going out with friends, hanging out at home, or doing anything else. There may be periods of time when you feel bored, lonely, or frustrated. It’s important to stay positive and try to look forward to things instead of dwelling on the negative.

Spending time with friends is always quality time and can enhance your day life. Being in a relationship doesn’t mean you can’t have separate lives.

Be patient

This is especially true if you have kids. Kids grow up fast, so you’ll have to adjust your expectations accordingly. They may act differently than how they did when they were younger. They might also become more independent.

“Be there” even when you can’t actually be there.

Long distance relationships are hard. How to survive a long distance relationship can be tricky. They require patience, understanding, and most importantly, communication. If you want to make sure you never miss out on what matters most, here are some tips for keeping your relationship strong.

Be emotionally available.

Emotional availability is the ability to feel empathy towards another person. Empathy allows us to understand how someone else feels and it helps us relate to them better. This is especially important when dealing with long term partners because they become familiar over time. When we don’t feel empathy towards our partner, we tend to lose interest.

To help keep your connection alive, try making an effort to show empathy whenever possible. For example, if you see your partner sad, offer to do something fun together. Or if you notice them feeling lonely, invite them over to hangout with friends. These small gestures go a long way.

Keep up with each other

If you’ve been dating for a while, chances are you know everything about your partner already. But if you haven’t known them very long, it might seem like you don’t really know anything about them. Don’t worry; just because you don’t know everything doesn’t mean you shouldn’t ask questions. Ask about their day, tell them about yours, and listen to what they say.

Remind your partner frequently what you love about your relationship.

When we are together, it’s easy to forget what we like most about our partners. We might think that he/she doesn’t care enough about us, or that she/he isn’t doing enough for us. But, there are many ways to show appreciation for the person you love. Here are three ideas to try out today.

Write down 3 things you love about your partner. Then, look over each note and ask him/her to do one thing every day to make you happy. For example, if you wrote something along the lines of “I love how he makes me laugh,” your partner could surprise you with a funny joke or video clip. Or, if you wrote “I love how he always listens to my problems,” he might call you just to talk. Whatever you write, keep track of your notes and see how far you get. You might even want to start keeping a notebook of notes to give to your partner.

Give your partner a gift card. If you know your partner likes shopping, buy her/him a few small gifts. He/she could use some new clothes or shoes, or maybe a spa treatment. This way, you don’t have to spend money on expensive items, and you can still express gratitude.

Send your partner a text message. Text messages are great because they allow you to say exactly what you mean without having to worry about grammar. Plus, they are quick and easy to send. Try sending a simple text message saying “I love you” or “You make me smile.” Your partner will appreciate knowing that you are thinking of him/her.

Forge a secure attachment by supporting each other’s interests

A secure attachment gives partners the ability to grow and develop independently. This is especially important for those in long-term relationships where one person might be more mature than another. In such cases, a secure attachment allows both people to flourish.

Supporting your partner’s interests even when it makes you feel uncomfortable can help foster a sense of security. When you’re comfortable, you’ll be able to relax and enjoy yourself. You won’t be afraid to express how you really feel about something because you know you can trust your partner.

Encouraging your partner to pursue his or her passion is another way to forge a secure attachment. If you believe in your partner’s abilities, you’ll be more likely to support him or her in whatever he or she chooses to do.

Learn how to address important issues both remotely and in person.

The goal of the course is to help you learn how to communicate effectively with family members while keeping yourself and others safe. You’ll learn what it takes to manage stress and anxiety during times of conflict. We’ll teach you how to use technology to keep in touch with loved ones and maintain relationships even when distance separates you. And we’ll give you tips and strategies for handling difficult conversations.

Focus on the positive aspects of long distance.

Long distance relationships are tough. They take a lot of effort and patience. But it doesn’t mean that there aren’t things you can do to help keep your relationship strong. Here are 7 tips to help you maintain your long distance relationship.

Don’t Expect Instant Gratification

This one seems obvious, but it’s easy to forget. You’re probably used to getting instant gratification from everything you want. If you don’t get what you want immediately, it can feel like a slap in the face. This isn’t true in a long distance relationship. There’s no way to know how much time it’ll take to see each other again. So try to focus on the positives. Maybe you’ve been able to spend quality time together over Skype or FaceTime. Or maybe you’ve gotten to meet your partner’s family. These little moments matter just as much as seeing each other in person.

Don’t compare yourself to others

You might think that because your partner lives far away, he/she must be doing better than you. And while you might be tempted to look around and wonder why your partner didn’t move closer, it won’t help either of you. Instead, remind yourself that everyone deals with challenges differently. Your partner might be working two jobs to pay rent. He/she might be dealing with health issues. Or maybe your partner is struggling financially. Whatever the reason, remember that every situation is different.

Make sure you communicate

Communication is key to maintaining a healthy relationship. In a long distance relationship, communication becomes even more important. When you’re apart, you miss out on those special moments where you talk about anything and everything. Even if you’re having a bad day, you still need to tell someone. Otherwise, you risk bottling up your emotions and letting them fester inside.

Respect the reason why you’re apart

A long distance relationship requires patience and commitment. You’ll have to put up with being away from each other for months, even years. But it could be worth it. Here are some tips to help you make it work.

Do Your Homework

Before you start looking for love online, do your homework about the person you plan to date. Read his/her profile thoroughly. Check out their social media profiles, including Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, LinkedIn, etc. Look at their photos and videos. See what they post about themselves and others. Learn about their interests, hobbies, career, family history, and anything else that might affect how you feel about them.

Know What You Want

You know that feeling when you meet someone, and you instantly connect with him/her? Well, it doesn’t happen every day. So don’t just jump into a relationship without knowing exactly what you want. If you’re interested in dating someone, ask yourself questions like “What am I looking for?” “How does he/she compare to my exes?” “Why do I think this person is special?” “Do I really want to commit to this person?” Once you’ve answered those questions, you’ll be able to find someone who meets your needs.

Give Yourself Time

If you’re serious about finding someone, you shouldn’t rush things. Take your time to figure out whether you truly want to be with this person. If you decide to go ahead with the relationship, make sure you give yourself enough time to build trust and respect. A healthy relationship takes time to develop.

When the time is right, create a long term plan for merging your worlds

When I tell people I’m getting married next summer, they’re always surprised. “You’ve been together for five years?” They ask me. “No,” I say, “we’ve been dating for seven.”

I don’t know why I feel the need to explain myself. But I do. And I think it’s because I want to make sure that everyone understands what we’re doing. We aren’t just saying goodbye to our single lives; we’re creating something brand-new. Something beautiful. Something worth waiting for.

And while there are many reasons why we want to take the plunge, here are some of my favorites:

1. We’ll finally have room to grow up.

2. We’ll finally be able to afford to buy a house.

3. We’ll finally be free to travel around the world without worrying about money.

4. We’ll finally be ready to start a family.

Do Stuff Together Even Though You’re Apart

A lot of people think that it’s impossible to have fun together if you aren’t in the same place. They believe that you can only do things if you’re physically close to one another. But there are actually a lot of different ways to have fun together even though you’re apart. Here are some ideas about how to make sure you never miss out on doing stuff together again.

Be Confident in Your Relationship

A recent study found that insecure people are always checking in on others to make sure they’re okay. They feel like they need to know what their partner is doing and thinking about them 24/7. And it turns out, there’s science behind why we do this. A team of researchers led by Dr. Jennifer Bartz of the University of California, San Diego, studied how people react to being left alone. They found that people who felt insecure checked in on themselves every 15 minutes. But those who felt secure didn’t even bother checking in once every hour. So, maybe you shouldn’t worry too much if you find yourself checking in on your significant other. You’re probably just feeling insecure.

But there’s another reason why you might be checking in on your partner — and it’s something you can control. Researchers say that if you want to keep things healthy in a relationship, you should agree on a certain number of times per day where you’ll communicate with one another. If you want to talk daily, set aside 30 minutes. Or try setting up a schedule where you both have a specific window of time to reach out to one another. “If you think about it, it makes sense,” says Bartz. “You’ve got to give yourself some space.”

And while you’re at it, remember that you don’t have to answer texts immediately. Give yourself some breathing room.

Don’t Be Afraid to Sext

The way we communicate today is changing rapidly. We text, snapchat, email, call, and even use emojis to convey our feelings to one another. But what happens when those methods don’t work anymore? What happens when you just can’t find the words to say how you feel about someone? Sometimes it takes something else to make things better. And sometimes that something else is sex.

But there are some rules to follow when texting or sexting. Here are three tips that will help you avoid getting into trouble while keeping the romance alive.

Find Time That Works Best For You Both

When it comes to sexting, timing really does matter. If you send a picture of yourself at 3 am in the morning, chances are that person won’t respond. On the other hand, if you send a picture of your face at 10 pm, the person might think you’re being creepy. So try to pick a time that works best for both parties. If you’re looking to start a conversation, maybe it’s best to wait until later in the day. If you’d like to end the conversation, however, it could be best to do it early in the morning.

Send Something Short & Sweet

If you’ve been dating someone for awhile, chances are you know each other pretty well. This makes it easy to tell whether or not he/she wants to hear about your weekend plans, or if she/he just wants to see pictures of your dog. When you’re trying to start a conversation, it’s important to keep things short and sweet. Think of it like writing a tweet. If you’ve got too much to say, people tend to scroll down and read the rest of the tweets anyway. Instead, focus on saying exactly what you want to say.

If Something Feels Off, Talk About It

When we feel like something isn’t quite right, we often don’t know how to figure out what is going on. We might think our gut feeling is just a hunch, but sometimes, it’s actually intuition. When we are unsure whether something is normal or not, we want to make sure we aren’t missing anything important. In today’s episode, I’m sharing some tips on how to identify if something feels off, and how to ask questions to find out if you are on the same page.

Visit One Another in the Places Where You Live

Long distance relationships are hard. But having visits in the same city make it easier. And having trips to see each other in your home cities will help you understand what’s going on in those areas.

If you want to strengthen your relationship, take advantage of the opportunity to meet up in person. Visiting one another in the places you both live will give you a chance to learn about the local culture and connect over shared interests.

You might even find some common ground in your hometown. For example, I grew up in a small town in New Hampshire. My husband grew up in Brooklyn, NY. We met in Boston, MA. Now we live in San Francisco, CA. If we had never visited one another in our respective homes towns, we probably wouldn’t know anything about each other’s hometowns.

But now we do. So let’s go there together!

Stay honest with each other

Openness and honesty are two key ingredients to a healthy relationship. If you want to keep things fun and exciting, make sure you’re open about everything. Letting your partner know what’s going on in your life helps build trust and strengthens your bond.

A good relationship is built on mutual respect. You should never lie to your partner, even if it makes you feel better. Honesty is something everyone wants in a long-term relationship.

You Can Survive a Long Distance Relationship

Long distance relationships are tough. How to survive a long distance relationship is not a question that is easily answered. They require patience, communication, and understanding. You must learn to accept each other’s flaws and work around them. If you do all those things, you’ll find that it’s possible to make a long distance relationship work.

Don’t let fear stop you. Fear makes us doubt ourselves and our ability to succeed. In fact, fear often leads to self-doubt. When we feel like we’re failing, we start doubting everything we do. We lose confidence and become paralyzed by fear. This is one reason why people fail at long distance relationships. They allow themselves to be afraid and then they end up giving up because they don’t know what else to do.

There are many ways to keep a long distance relationship strong. Here are some tips to help you survive a long distance relationship.

Give Yourself Permission To Move Forward Without Them

If you’re in a long distance relationship, you probably think about your partner every day. You might even talk to them on the phone several times a week. You might send them pictures of you and your family. You might write letters to them. And you might dream about seeing them again someday.

But you shouldn’t try to force yourself to be part of their lives unless you really want to be there. You should never pressure yourself into being someone you aren’t just because you want to see them again.

Think about how much time you spend together and decide whether or not you want to be there.

Talk in the Morning and at Night

Checking into a hotel room isn’t just for getting some shut eye. In fact, it’s one of the most effective ways to build stronger connections. A study conducted by the University of California found that people who talked on the phone every night had better relationships than those who didn’t. But what about face-to-face conversations? What happens when you’re apart? Do you still feel like talking?

Find a way to hang out together while apart

The most important thing you can do to keep your long distance relationship strong is to make sure you spend quality time together. You don’t have to go to every event together, but it’s important to find ways to connect even when you’re separated. Here are some ideas to help you maintain your connection during times apart.

Make plans ahead of time

You’ll probably want to plan activities that you both enjoy. If one person likes hiking, the other might like to play golf. Whatever you decide, try to schedule something fun and relaxing for each other. This will give you something to look forward to when you’re apart.

Don’t forget about phone calls

A lot of people think that phone calls are just for talking. But they’re actually great opportunities to show how much you care. When you call, make sure you talk about things you both enjoy. For example, if one of you loves reading books, ask what book he/she is reading. Or if one of you enjoys watching movies, ask her/him what movie she/he wants to see. These little conversations will remind you of why you fell in love in the first place.

Find little ways to show the other person you love them and are thinking about them.

A simple gift could be all that is needed to let someone know that you are thinking about them. A thoughtful gesture like flowers, wine, chocolates, etc. are great ideas for showing how much you care. And if you want to go above and beyond, try sending a personal note along with your gift.

Don’t Fear Growth

Don’t fear growth embrace it! If you are afraid of change, you will never grow. You must accept what is happening around you and learn how to adapt. Your fears will paralyze you and stop you from taking action. Grow up and face your fears head on.

University is short lived enjoy every moment. Life goes fast and you won’t want to waste another second. Take advantage of your education now. Do something fun once in awhile. Go out and explore the world. Traveling broadens your mind and helps you appreciate where you live.

Relationships will always be important. But don’t let them hold you back. Let go of the past and focus on building relationships that matter. Make sure you spend quality time together. Be there for each other. Show love and affection. Share experiences. Spend time doing things you both like.

Make Time for Each Other

The holiday season is upon us, and it’s important to remember that we are all busy people, and our partners deserve our attention just like everyone else does. This year, make sure you take some time out of your schedule to spend quality time together. Whether you go shopping, see family, or simply enjoy each other’s company, make sure you carve out some time to do something special for your loved one.

Don’t be Afraid

Long distance relationships are not easy but do not be afraid to reach out to your potential partner. It may seem scary at first but as you get used to being apart, you will feel more comfortable reaching out. Don’t worry about making mistakes because you are only human. Just be yourself and communicate openly.

Be Yourself

It is very difficult to stay true to yourself while living far away from your significant other. You need to be honest with yourself and others.

Relationship advice

August 13, 2022August 11, 2022

Counselling for Couples

Finding Counselling for Couples Near You

How do I find counseling for couples near me? Counselling is an effective way to address relationship difficulties. It helps people learn how to communicate better, resolve conflicts, and improve relationships.

Find couples counselling based on what you actually need

There are different types of counselling services available. These include individual counseling, couples counseling, family therapy, group counseling, and more. If you’re looking for help with a particular issue, such as anxiety, depression, anger management, or substance abuse, you should choose a counselor who specialises in that area.

Paula is one of those counsellors who can help with counselling for couples near you.

Look at reviews from previous clients

It’s also important to consider how much you’ll pay for counselling. Many counsellors offer free sessions, while others charge a fee. In addition, some therapists will accept insurance coverage, while others won’t.

Ask friends or family members about their experiences with counsellors

If you’re looking for a therapist, ask friends or family members for recommendations. They might have had good or bad experiences with a particular counsellor. Also, check out online reviews. A quick Google search should turn up plenty of results.

Check out online forums where other people discuss counselling

Online forums are an excellent resource for finding therapists. There are several websites dedicated to helping people find a counsellor near them. These sites allow users to post questions and receive answers from others who have been there before.

Read up on different types of counselling

Different types of counselling exist, each with its own approach and focus. A therapist will usually use one type of therapy at a time, so it’s important to understand what kind of therapy you need. If you’re looking for more general advice, check out our article on choosing a therapist.

Contact Paula to see how she can help you.

May 19, 2022May 16, 2022

Couples Therapy

Married Couples Therapy

Couples therapy is a type of counselling that focuses on helping couples communicate effectively and resolve conflicts in their relationship.

Couples therapy can be very helpful when you’re having trouble communicating or dealing with conflict.

If you’re struggling with communication issues within your relationship, couples therapy can help you learn how to talk to each other more effectively. You’ll also learn how to deal with conflict in a healthy way.

The first thing you need to know is that it’s not just for married people. You can also get this type of therapy with someone who isn’t your spouse.

In fact, there are several different kinds of relationship therapy. One type focuses on understanding what makes a couple tick and why they act the way they do. Another type focuses on helping couples communicate better. A third kind focuses on resolving conflicts between partners.

There are different kinds of therapy for married couples.

If you’re looking for ways to improve your marriage, or long-term relationship, consider therapy as a couple. This form of counseling can help you learn how to resolve conflict and improve communication skills. You might also find that it will help you understand yourself better as well as your partner.

When you have a problem, don’t try to solve it alone. Talk to your partner about it.

Couples therapy can help you and your spouse communicate more effectively. It can also help you understand each other better. In addition, couples therapy can help you identify what’s causing conflicts in your relationship and address them.

A good couples therapist will help you figure out how to deal with problems as they arise. They’ll also help you learn new ways to interact with your partner.
If you’re looking for a couples therapist who specializes in helping married couples, consider asking friends or family members for recommendations. You might also check online directories such as Yelp and Google to find local therapists.

November 15, 2021May 5, 2022

Couples Counselling

Everything You Need to Know About Counselling for Couples.

What Is Couples Counselling?

Couples Counselling takes place with a licensed therapist who has clinical experience working with couples. They are most often a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), who is employed to help couples involved in a relationship gain insight into that relationship, resolve conflict, and improve relationship satisfaction by introducing a variety of therapeutic interventions.

Although the practice of behavioral couples therapy may vary depending on the therapist’s theoretical orientation, all couples therapy tends to involve the following general elements:

- Focusing on a specific problem (i.e. sexual difficulties, lack of intimacy, jealousy etc.)
- Solution and/or change-oriented interventions
- Active participation on the part of the therapist in treating the relationship itself, as opposed to the individuals
- Clear treatment objectives

What Can We Expect in Our Couples Therapy?

The majority of couples who enter couples counselling for the first time, really don’t know what to expect, and this is to be expected.

Usually, your therapy session will start as the professional asks some opening interview questions regarding the history of the relationship. As the treatment progresses the therapist will delve deeper into each partner’s family-of-origin, values, and cultural background.

If they feel it is warranted, the counselor might use the initial sessions for crisis intervention.

The role of the counselor is to try and guide the couple as they identify the issue(s) that will become the focus of their treatment. This stage is very important for establishing treatment goals and planning a structure for treatment as counseling progresses.

During treatment, the therapist will help the couple gain insight into the relational dynamics creating the problem and guide both partners to understand their roles in the dysfunctional interactions. This greater insight on relationship issues and distress will help them change the way they perceive the relationship and each other.

Another crucial aspect of couples therapy involves actually changing behaviors. Couples therapists will often ask the couple to complete tasks away from the interview process in order to apply the skills they have learned during their couples counselling sessions, and add these to their day-to-day interactions.

The majority of couples end up with a greater knowledge of their relational patterns and with the necessary skills to effectively communicate and problem-solve with their partners, thanks to their therapy.

Without doubt, any type of successful relationship is hard work. Much like vehicles, they require regular maintenance to keep them running smoothly. It is better to repair problems before they get out of control and become larger complications further down the road.

Couples who are invested in their relationship, can do some of the basic maintenance and repairs themselves, but at other times, behavioral couples counselling with the help and guidance of a licensed professional may be the best way to go. This type of relationship counseling is focused on improving relationship satisfaction and offers conflict resolution between a couple. The ultimate goal for me, as a professional counselor, is to help build or repair healthy relationships and to address any issues that may be present.

When Should We Have Couples Counselling?

Ideally, before the relationship is not in a real crisis. Unfortunately, just like looking in the mirror, you only notice the changes when they become a problem as they develop gradually over time. Most couples will not bother doing anything if there’s nothing urgently wrong.

“I wish more couples reached out for therapy before they had a catastrophic problem”.

Couples counseling can be a great resource while you’re going through a specific life event. But it can also just be about strengthening some aspect of your relationship.

With regular attention, couples counseling can be preventative. You and your partner will be in a much better position to spot and deal with those larger issues if you’re not at each other’s throats.

How Do We Find a Therapist Who is Right for Us?

Finding a therapist who is right for you as a couple is possibly the hardest part of the whole process. It takes time and effort. It might take a couple of weeks, or even months, to find the right person. It is important to spend the time and energy going through this process as it will produce better results for your relationship in the end.

Think about your location and scheduling requirements? Do you have a gender preference, or want someone from a certain cultural background?

I would recommend getting a referral if you can, see if any of your friends know of anybody. You could also ask a trusted medical professional, such as your Doctor.

It is important that you keep an open mind. “You might have a mental image of how you think the right therapist looks like, but allow yourself to be surprised. You don’t really know how it feels to be in the room with someone until you are actually in that situation, talking to them face to face. Both of you must feel comfortable and respected.

How Should We Prepare for our First Session?

Obviously you need to ask about their fees and their professional background. Make sure they are licensed. Please do not expect a ‘free trial’; therapists are professionals and will ask both of you to come in for a proper first session, which you will be expected to pay for. Couples therapy is usually a bit more expensive than individual therapy.

What if my Partner is not as Keen as me on having Therapy?

Hopefully you are both invested equally in receiving therapy, after all it is a relationship. However, quite often one of you is going to be more open to the process than the other.

“When one person wants to go more than the other, it’s very important that they let their partner know how much they appreciate their willingness to go”.

It should be crystal clear that it is an opportunity for both of you to explain what is on your mind and express how it is making them feel, couples counselling is not just a one-way street.

Once both of you are in the room with the therapist, it is their job to draw out the less-enthusiastic half. A good counselor is trained to do that. Your goal as the invested half of the relationship is to get your partner through the door, where the professional takes over.

What do we do if the Therapist does not appear to be working for us?

If one of you isn’t feeling comfortable with the direction therapy is going, do not quit immediately. Try talking to your therapist about it. “A lot of people think that they’re going to hurt their therapist’s feelings if they say they’re uncomfortable in the room, or upset about something the therapist said,” but a good therapist should welcome that information. “Communicating what you are feeling about the sessions can actually lead to very fruitful conversations“.

Of course, sometimes it just is not the right fit, despite research and that’s okay too.

What Kinds of Results should we Expect?

This is totally dependent on the individual situation, as no two are the same. Even the best therapist cannot perform miracles and save certain relationships.

Sometimes couples come to therapy not even sure that they want their relationship to be saved. “All I ask of my clients is their commitment to doing the work,”.

It’s nice if they’re committed to the other person, but the most important thing is that they’re committed to working to improve the relationship.

You need to be explicit about your expectations and goals. “I think it’s a good idea, in the first few sessions, to figure out one or two goals that you want to work on as a couple”. “Sometimes progress is hard to measure. Feelings might shift without being noticed at first, or there might be a slight change in behavior in one or even both people However, it is very important to pay attention. Remember, even the slightest pieces of progress is progress.

Next Steps

If you are ready to book or would like to talk to me about the possibility of getting couples counselling you can either call or contact me by email.

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